she was with me in class
we were friends for a year or so
she was my 'sports buddy'
I could never imagine her liking a guy
I remember this one, who used to call her all the time
they played football together, I thought it was rather strange how she never told me about a guy she likes,
but she always talked about a female friend of hers in the most romatic way
she used to make her little hand made gifts, and once she even showed me a video she made for her,
when we graduated we ceased to be friends
once I was in the club, going back to my car, it was parked in a dark area
I saw a car, with two girls inside
they were just talking, but I found it strange that they'd park a car and sit and talk in a dark corner
I looked closely and I realized that it was my friend inside with another girl
she said hi and we talked for a while
A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend, and she told me she suspects that this girl is a lesbian
I asked her why she thinks so
she told me that she saw her at the movies with a girl, she was laughing and putting her hand on her thighs, and then at the intermission, she kept asking the girl if she needs anything, and asked repeatedly when the girl declined.
I told the friend, the one I was talking to, that she actually might be lesbian, but she'll never admit it to herself or her family, and eventually she might get married and feel trapped forever, since she'd consider it the greatest sin of all
then I pondered a little bit
the last time I talked to her, back at school, I knew she would have thought it was the greatest sin of all, she wasn't extra religious, but I'm sure she would've been against that
but maybe she's changed, I have no idea what her religious beliefs are at the moment
I know I've changed a lot since school days, so who knows
if she were lesbian I'd feel sorry for her, since she'd be entraped forever

A few days ago, a semi-friend made this crude remark on a picture of Ellen and Portia de Rossi, I asked her why she thought it was disgusting.
She got angry at me "don't give your I'm so open-minded shit! It's ok to be tolerant but you have to have your own opinions"
"well, my opinion is that I'm for gays and lesbians"
"I don't believe you. What of your sister marries a woman, would you be happy about that?"
"She wouldn't"
"Let's say she would."
"my sister is uptight, and even if she wasn't, she could never get married to a woman here in Egypt!"
"Well , ASSUMING it was ok. Hypothetically speaking."
"I wouldn't mind, I'll be happy for her if that's what she wants."
"you wouldn't you be boiling inside?" another one asked
"no," I replied
They started telling me that I'm a liar and that I would actually get angry if I was in that situation.

I explained that sometimes, some people are born in a certain way and they feel entraped in their body, "what if a woman has no desire for men, what if she's built that way or vise versa?"
"God would never create someone like that."
"How would you know, just because you're into men doesn't have to mean that ever female specie should be born that way."
"la2 fee nas beystahbelo," (the wouldn't you be boiling) girl said
"I could understand if they were molested as a child," the first one said
"it doesn't have to be that way, why do people always assume that gays or lesbians were molested as kids? I mean everything that happens to a person, ye2ollo asl he was abused as a child. I might actually believe that some people would quite simply be born that way."
Damn you Opera, Dr Phil and Al Aswany if I might add.
and then it came
"yeah but then it would be a disease that needs treatment."
"here we go again," I thought
"they were born that way, why should you have to call it a disease?"
"it's like being a disabled person."
I'm no psychologist, I' not an expert and I'm no doctor so I don't have logical proof or evidence to stand by my point
"look," I said "anatomically speaking, it makes more sense tab3an that a penis would enter a vagina. But I still don't feel it's a disease, I can't explain it and I don't even have proof, maybe you're right, but I still am OK with the concept."

I don't know why, but I really would feel sorry for homo sexuals in Egypt

I remember once a conversation I had with two friends a very long time ago
"I can never understand the physical aspect of lesbianism" they were saying "but I would totally understand it from an emtional point of view, girls understand each other more."
I was totally against what they were saying
I actually I see it the other way round.
I can imagine being attracted to a girl, physically attracted but I can never be in a relatioship with one
too much drama and estrogen
la2 tab3an I need a man to be in a relationship with
I can count a few girls I've actually been attracted to
I don't consider myself lesbian though
not at all

I don't remember in which Almodovar film someone says that females are bisexual
I think it's in "all about my mother"
it's true though
even if it's only by 1%
there's a teeny weeny bisexual in every girl
and many girls did admit that

so anyway
I don't know what I'm going about here
I think it's really hard for homosexuals in the middle east,
allover the globe aslan
but here it's 100 times harder than anywhere