It's funny how every single person sees me in a completly different light
there are so many 'me's out there
or at least ideas of me
it's funny how you think you're just you
and realize that there are actually thousands of you in people's heads
so many version versions of you
maybe some people notice one detail about me and overlook another
or maybe some people gather my reactions n differnt situations they saw and accordingly put together an idea of me
what's really humiliating about embarassing moments is the fact that this moment would be registered in the minds of its witnesses
it's intimidating knowing there are so many ideas of me out there
but then again I ask myself so which is really me?
since they're all half truths
is it my perception of me?
but it still can't be accurate
since self perceptions are always skwed and distorted
or maybe the me that I know is there lurking within but am scared to make peace with it
or accept its excitence
or maybe its the me that I like and enjoy talking to
or maybe it's in the whole combination
About Me
- silent observer
- I walk around, observe the world and capture beautiful moments in my head and when I get tired of this world I go visit my childhood place.
8 comments:
maybe because u prefer to remain kind of mysterious? I know I have a version of u in my head, didn't know u didn't know.
you know I don't think I'm mysterious at all but many people seem to think that.
so how's the version in your head like?
i'm not good at describing but i'll try..
an absentminded girl, knows a bit of everything, reserved in her emotions and displaying them, pretty much what I read in ur blogs!
well... you got the absentmindedness right but I guess it's pretty obvious :) on the blog and in real life, it shows from the very first second
did you mean reserved in displaying the emtions, or reserved in my emtions but still in some ways display them?
I meant both..
what do u think makes one feel afraid of feeling something? it's like one wants to feel and don't want to feel.. it's something I'm so familiar with.
did u ever feel like u want to feel something but in the same time u're afraid of letting urself go?
actually I'm not reserved in my feelings at all, I feel things, and I feel them intensly and I let myself go completely, that's why I end up getting hurt and dissapointed all the time
but I find it hard to open up and that's a completelt different thing
and well you already said it, you are afraid to feel because you know quite well that you would suffer at the end, numbness makes pain bearable but it also slowly kills your spirit
I wish I can be like u..
yeah, u're right, and what's more I didn't realize it before. It was more of an unconscious defense technique. I don't know how to change that, but at least I am somehow aware of it now..
it's like everything's so logical, everything must be unconsciously calculated, cause and effect, trial and error, all that while u don't even know. at the end u end up a slave of ur mind, and totally numb and unfeeling like I sometimes feel myself..
now that's depressing
i believe we're all made up of many many layers... so some people pick on things.. some people pick on others... but most of these things are in YOU... with different degrees of intensity...
e - most humans - are very complex people.. and the ones among us who keep more to themselves.. usually have more layers to them that are not revealed much.. and so different sides of us are shown to different people... hence the confusion!
you'd be surprised by the contradicting things i hear different people say about me :D it makes me think i have a multiple personality disorder... which could be true :D i wouldn't know!
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