Friday, October 17, 2008

Isn't it annoying that I always wake up early no matter how late I sleep.
Even when I sleep over at friends' houses and we stay awake all night, I still wake up before everyone else. If I wasn't the daydreaming, entertainig myself type I think I would've hated waking up before anyone else. But it's ok, I don't mind it much, except for the fact that I get so tired sometimes and wish I would sleep more, but the thing is, when I'm up then I'm up.
The only time in my life when I slept for long hours was during my sickness.
I'm so busy lately, I have no time to even breathe. It's good and bad....
I'm slowly starting to know more about myself and what I want from life....
the constant question of wanting to study Journalism or not is being solved....
through reporting for the caravan I realized that I like doing long features more than news... that I like talking to people and writing about them, describing scenes, more than reporting about a problem on campus with lots of statistics. I realized that I'm a slowpaced person, who won't be able to keep up with the Journalism beat, I'm more of a magazine person.
I'm also not comptetive at all, which really doesn't fit Journalism, especially newspaper Journalism.
I was doing this story about the campus at night, and I had a photographer with me, this guy who's also a reporter asked me if I want him to help out, I told him "yeah sure why not. One more person wouldn't hurt, it will make the story more comprehensive." This girl, the photographer asked me if I don't mind sharing the byline. I told her "no not at all. I only want the story to be good." The only thing I'm competitive about is sports, which is weird because when it comes to work I'm not competetive but with recreation I'm the most competitive person there is. It should be the other way round. The director of the Caravan really believes I'd be a good Journalist one day, which makes me happy because I was so scared of sucking at the it, the first day I started.
I was also very happy yesterday.
I never write poetry, the only attempts were a long time ago at school, but I never wrote poetry ever since. When I started this creative writing course I felt really bad about my writing and I didn't even want my writings to be shared in class, since I felt that everyone is so much better than me. Especially that on the list my name was on the day that poetry is being workshoped and I never wrote poetry, always short stories or thoughts.
But I managed to write one and then all the letters I got from others in my class were positive, they said it was beautifully written. I was sooo happy and relieved. I don't suck :)
It was also written in a form, I never thought I'd write a poem in form, the form is a sestina (look it up)... when I went out of class these two girls came up to me to tell me that my poem is beautifully written. This one girl said "I felt that there was melody floating, that I was somewhere else" and that was my intention of writing it, I wanted to create a different world. That's always my intention when writing actually. I'm glad. :)
isn't it weird that girls are more drawn to girls' writings and guys are more drawn to guys' writings? Personally, even if I love the writings of many male authors or males in genral, there's something very beautiful about the way women write, or maybe it's more relatable I think.
Maybe that's why I love females singers like Sia, Alanis Morisette, Bic ringa, Tracy Chapman, K's choice.... and the like.... because I feel it more...
that of course doesn't make me like Travis or Radiohead less. I absolutely love them.
but there's something to a woman's voice that I absolutely love.

1 comment:

Mohammad said...

No, u don't suck.

I too like women writing and voices more than males (Woolf and ur blog proves it). does that make me gay?