Apathy or whatever....

so Obama won...
and I don't know what else is happening in the world...
I should care right?
I'm a journalist after all...
but the thing is
I don't
I wish I would
at a certain phase of my life I wanted to start a revolution and overthrow the system... yeah adolescent dreams
I used to tell the teachers academics are crap and why the hell do need to go to school anyways?
I got a lot of Fs doing that,
I once told everyone in class not to attend, to go on a strike because they fired a teacher we all liked back then...
nobody did of course, they were cowardly... they were afraid of getting a Tadel (this warning letter you get)
ughhh
they were always so cowardly
I got three that year, but not for noble reasons, mostly for skipping classes or doing watever
I had passion back then, towards issues, I wanted to fix the world, I wanted to be a war correspondant, I wanted to make a big change
now I'm just apathetic about everything
politics, religion and even love
I'm just.... I don't care
one might think that's a depression symptom
but I don't feel depressed
I know how depression feels like
and I'm not!
so why am I like that?
I have no idea
lately I'm actually happy in my life
doing totally random things with random people
and I made japanese friends two days ago
real japanese people
how cool is that?
and egyptian friends who are as japan obsessed as I am
we're going to live there together one day heheh
yeah I know pipe dreams
but the thing is....
I feel something is missing
maybe passion for something
I don't know
and I stopped believing in love
yeah me the hopeless romantic
I mean the BIG love of my life started calling me a while ago, and then we stopped talking
and it's as if it never happened
I didn't get sad about it
only slightly angry for two days or something
actually I was bored of him and I wanted it stop way before it actually stopped
and now I'm kinda sorta dating this guy, I'm already bored of it
it was exciting for one day or something
my best friend told me maybe I need to find the right person
I don't think it will ever happen
I've become too picky
I also realized I can't ever be in a "casual" thing
It's not my thing
I don't know
I want to care about something
anything
"it's just a phase" I keep telling myself
I hope it is