the irony

the only good and healthy relationship that I've been in my whole life, is the only one that didn't devastate me when it ended...

Yesterday I told my friend that I want a new experience, not neccasarily guy related, actually I don't want a guy related one.
I want to travel, I want to do something so very unexpected.
When I was a kid I always wrote stories about this girl who prayed for an adventure before sleep everynight. And she did get her share of adventure, I on the other hand, did not.
My friend's sister is on a oneyear study abroad program in Japan and as much as I was so excited and even gave her websites to study hiragana and katagana, something inside me was asking: "why wasnt that me? Im the onle who always wanted to go to japan."

I feel I'm stuck in a major I don't like and in a life that I want to get away from.

I want to go somwhere and I want to break the pattern that Im afraid I would be stuck into.
It's my biggest fear lately